A few days ago, I’m sitting with a friend a playcenter while the kids are sprinting around during a birthday party. We get talking about work and he mentions the fact that he’s a partner engineer at Google and I instantly think, “Man, I wish I was making that kind of money.”

But was the big salary actually what I wanted? Or was it something else?

Now, to be fair, he’s several years older and I’m 7 years into my career in tech but it’s hard not to compare. I’m not interested in the fancy houses (ours is big enough already), cars (hate them) or dinners.

I was making more money before we came to Poland so I have some experience with it. We didn’t live any sort of lavish lifestyle but we also didn’t have to look at every expense with a fine tooth comb. When we arrived in Poland and the reality of a one income household dawned on me, I was micromanaging our expenses that way but I’ve since loosened up on that front and it’s made me less stressed.

We also have strong savings that allowed us to come out to Poland without the urgency of a second income being required so we’re not in that bad of shape. We’re still able to take trips. Even if it’s above our budget, we’ll be going back to Canada in a few months so a bit of a splurge in case we don’t come back feels justifiable. It wouldn’t be sustainable on our current income if we were to do it consistently.

With that, when I think about it, what I actually want is the stability of making enough to support the family on the one paycheck while being able to travel and live how we want. Something that we technically have if I keep my job and dip into savings a little bit.

I can’t help but feel I might be leaving money on the table by not pursuing something higher. It’s a shitty job market last I checked so that’s partly an issue as well but I’m generally content with the amount I get paid for the effort I have to put in. And we have enough saved that there isn’t the pressure to fuck up a good thing in pursuit of more money.

But to make Poland work, our current setup is just enough to make it by which leaves very little margin for error. Worse, if I were to get laid off from the job, we’d be in a pretty shitty spot if living in Poland. I’d struggle to replace my income with something similar that doesn’t involve going back to the office.

With only 4 months left in Poland, I feel like I don’t want to overthink it in a time when I get to just enjoy the spring and summer in this beautiful country. Live in the now – something I struggle with – because I can spend the time back in Canada strategizing what will be the next move for my career and whether chasing the higher income makes sense.

I don’t believe I’m struggling with more, more, more. When I had the higher income in Canada – and Steph had hers also – I wasn’t chasing more income or envying others who had more. It was more that enough for our family to do things like trips and coffees out without concern of the costs.

That’s what I’m looking to accomplish again, only this time in Poland. That could be a remote position in Poland for a North American company even. Or climb the ladder a bit and even pivot if need be to make sure that we’re still building for the future.

What a larger income ultimately means for our family is the ability to not touch our savings. We have enough saved that if we let it grow for us, in the next 10-20 years, we’d be comfortably retired. So it’s mostly about not fucking up a good thing at this point.

But there’s still stress around the job. With AI, there’s also the uncertainty of my career as a web developer in tech. It makes doubling down on tech as a way to increase my income seems like a riskier move than ever right now. There’s a real chance that finding another web development job in its current state is essentially not going to happen. I’ve been using AI more and more so I’m not ‘falling behind’ but with the goalposts of what AI is capable of moving constantly forward, it’s hard to know where to focus the energy.

I’m comfortable with learning and increasing my skills that will ultimately translate to a larger paycheck but I’m not going to ruin the work/life balance that I have with my current role.

I don’t regret giving up the income to have our experience in Poland. And we have plenty of money saved to be able to weather essentially any storm that comes our way because of AI or layoffs.

I don’t need a Google paycheck to feel content and optimistic about the future. I want to feel secure enough in our situation. And maybe that means more job security, more savings or even just to let go a little and realize it will all work out somehow in the end.